What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize