Sry I called you an 8
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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