32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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