but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
did i walk over a car last night?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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