i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize