all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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