You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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