Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
