Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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