He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize