I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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