I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize