Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
