I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
