so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
