Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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