Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
