yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
