I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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