i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
