I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
