How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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