We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
there is glitter all over my balls
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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