North Korea, Best Korea!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
