We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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