I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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