butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
