wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
