I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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