Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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