I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
