Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
