I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
