i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
