she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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