drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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