U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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