his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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