I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
