I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize