i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
