Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
