You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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