God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
