walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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