I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
