I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize