Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
