yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have aggressive nipples.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
