If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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