I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
