apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
