how can u be prego again
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
