I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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