Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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