wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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