Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
