this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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