We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
