my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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