CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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