I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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